Given that we’re just sitting around and waiting for something to happen (i.e. have a baby), I decided, being a project manager, to determine our state of readiness to implement the project (aka give birth).

Without Lynn’s knowledge I scouted out the spare bedroom, where, for the past few weeks (yes, that’s right ‘weeks’), there have been packed bags and other paraphernalia that are (apparently) needed when giving birth. My curiosity at the quantum and contents of 3 bags to take to the hospital got the better of me, and I donned my Inspector Clouseau trilby hat and went to work examining the contents of these bags.

Before I go into the details of the contents, as a father to be, and a project manager ready for action, I can truly say that Lynn is well prepared and no longer in denial about this being her baby. No one dare show her this blog posting!!! Here’s why . . .

In bag one, I found the following:

–    7 tea bags of Crabtree & Evelyn English Breakfast tea

–    5 tea bags of Crabtree & Evelyn Camomile tea (Lynn hates Five Roses, the tea of choice of most hospital and eating establishments)

–    1 bag of Haribo Goldbären (in English this means one bag of Haribo gummy bears – the best gummy bears in the world available at stores that import German delicatessen)

–    Scrap booking kit

–    Two books, one titled “Boundaries with Kids” which I guess was originally called “OMG, I Got Kids WTF?” but was changed by some stiff upper lip publisher (for obvious reasons) and the other “Anton Rupert – A Biography”. The second is most intriguing, as I guess Lynn has great expectations for baby Lederer given this title. No pressure on the little boy given Mr Rupert’s track record, i.e. 2nd South African to make it onto the Forbes World’s Billionaires List at position 284 at the time of his death with an estimated worth of $3.3bn.

–    Oh yes, and some clothes for Lynn!

In the cosmetics bag, amongst the usual suspects such as 15 facial creams, 9 hair products, and various tools of torture to enhance youthful skin, I found 2 little gems. The first being Labour Oil, and the second her little clary-sage cotton wool ball for sniffing. Why little gems might you ask? Well, these are excellent little comforters and aides, if you’re going natural. The emphasis being on natural – I guess in some areas Lynn is still in a bit of denial; I’ll leave you to work out that one!

The third bag, which I term the ‘cutie-pie bag’ is where all the kiddies clothes are in. Opening this bag and seeing the little outfits ready and waiting to bring our baby home in made my heart melt! Needless to say, given that it is a big baby, Lynn has packed baby grows for newly borns, and some clothes for 3 to 6 months, just in case!

Figure 1 The C&E Teas and Haribo Goldbären

 

Figure 2 Scrap Booking Kit

 

Figure 3 Aspirational Reading Material

 

Figure 4 Natural ‘Drugs’

 

Figure 5 Baby Wear For Brand New Baby

 

Figure 6 Warm Kit to Come Home In

 

Figure 7 All the Bags and Paraphernalia (my job is to remember the stem cell harvesting kit – I hope I can remember that)

 

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