Mar

Don’t Call Me Baby

It’s not exactly the phrase I use, but it really is enough to break my adoring parents. You can’t call me Baby, I am a Big Boy, having heard the first part of my new phrase in a song. Well I suppose the day is here where they have to start relinquishing some of the apron strings. Mom however doesn’t think she’s the problem and Dad’s concerned he is not participating enough.

It was quite the start to the week. Mom was surprised that I went backwards in my ability to leave her in the morning, as it happens it was a foreboding of something to come, but more about that later.

When Mom collected me on Monday afternoon, she was taken aside to be spoken to by teacher Sasha. I was quite sure I knew why, as I got a timeout for something during school, but thought I would wait it out. I made a decisive effort to get out of the gate really quickly but Mom didn’t follow so quickly. I noticed Teacher Sasha was serious, but Mom’s back was turned to me, I couldn’t really read what she was feeling or thinking. I did however know that it would result in another comment about me owing her Botox and hair-dye for the rest of my life.

It so happened, that during the day I had made sure everyone was outside when I quite ceremoniously locked the door to the class room, from the inside. I then started monkeying around with great glee on the burglar bars. When everyone returned to class they realised the error, keys in doors should not be kept in the proximity of a three year old. It would appear that other 3 – 4 year olds also don’t know about turning keys in keyholes. The teachers fed child after child into the class, through the burglar bars, until we were all inside and they, the adults, were on the outside, still with me playing monkey on the bars. Things took a serious turn when realising that they were not going to get the other children to turn the keys, the threat of losing gold stars was released. I very quickly relented on that and unlocked and opened the door.

I do believe this was the first time Teacher Sasha had seen my cold blooded determination to see something through to the end. I took my punishment like a man – a long timeout. I saw it through with the greatest intent.

Mom and I left school in a strange mood, Mom was crying but didn’t seem to be sad and I wasn’t directly punished, but I did hear Mom say her and Dad would follow through. She was crying she was laughing so much!

When in the car, Mom asked me why I got a timeout and I told her. It was simple, I conceived a plan, I engaged as Mom always tells me, then I saw it through to its logical conclusion. When Mom asked me if I was upset that I got a timeout, I declared not at all. I am a big boy. Mom left the topic where it lay. Squashed on the ground.

At home, I heard her in the lounge shrieking with laughter as she told one or two friends and a couple of my therapists.

As we were leaving for speech I gave her a taste of my day and locked her in the kitchen. She was less impressed with me at the point, but informed me that gold stars were in jeopardy and I relented and opened the door.

Back home after speech, Dad congratulated me and I was suspicious. My parents gave in and told me that there was a time they were told I would never be able to do this kind of thing, and weren’t worried, but yet again I had surprised everyone.

Tuesday when Mom dropped me off, she took teacher Sasha a lanyard and a magnet and showed her how we deal with the key issue at home.

Back home Mom and I went through some work and Mom found all my German soccer paraphernalia as this was the country for the week. When Dad came home he took over from Mom who somehow went to sleep (she doesn’t sleep often).

Wednesday I had a huge discussion with Mom about staying home rather than going to school. I learned that Mom had gone to school at age 5 and could read and write, however Dad went to school at 6 and couldn’t speak English and was forced to spend his breaks doing extra English work while his friends played. He mentions it often, so I think it’s scared him a little! I was horrified and told Mom I think they should have stayed home and watched Disney Junior. Mom then broke it to me that when she went to school they didn’t even have TV in the country. Oh shock and horror. I think they have come along so nicely with such disadvantages.

Dad unceremoniously entered iPad hell on the 3^rd day of the week and Mom and I had to spend a good deal of time consoling Dad. The SIM reader on his 11 month old iPad gave in; at the iStore they surgically removed the fondleslab from his hands so that it could be sent to the workshop for an assessment, and most probably a replacement. He’s been grumpy ever since. After music Mom and I decided to go see Tammy’s netball match and after having a great time entertaining the girls with my charms and forcing Mom to keep up with her exercises of keeping me off the playing field. We headed to the Morningside Mall. Mom wanted to see about the dogs at the pet-store and to get Dad some building materials for his tunnel and train building passion. He was thrilled.

Thursday morning in my wake-up daze, I fell right into the toilet trying to relieve myself. Note to self: wake up properly first before sitting on the loo. Again my parents laughed and told me there would be much more of that sort of behaviour when I went to varsity. The day progressed into a rainy night and into a rainy day Friday. Fortunately for me it was Superhero Friday, and I decided to be a Fireman and my outfit is actually a rain coat so I was safe. Mom left me safely in the capable company of Superman Nathi, Woody Keagan, and Princess Tess. Our class was the best dressed for the day. We were very excited. I went to OT but we couldn’t get through the traffic and rain quick enough, so while Mom and Lauren spoke about some homework, I put myself into the hammock and ran round the room and then spun myself around with my feet off the ground. Mom thought it was hilarious. I got my first weighted jacket for some proprioception when doing fine motor skills. Although let me just say, I impressed everyone in the family and at school as I finished all my worksheets and got 95% of them right. Mom always says I do things in my own time and my own way. I’m consistently like that. I never leave anyone without hope.

On the way home Mom suggested that we go to Smudge as an end of week treat but we would go at 3, as there was story-time and the pirate party. Mom had already packed my outfit, so I was ready to go. Right away I decided that I needed to go there immediately. Mom called Bevlet and we all met up there. It was great fun, I refused to take off my weighted vest and ran around looking like one of the SWAT team. Mom thinks she’ll have to paint the letters onto my vest to make it look authentic. It was a great day and it finished with Morgan arriving to play while the folks chatted and ate.

Saturday morning we were all up pretty early, including Mom. She had a course to go to, so Dad and I would have a boys’ day together. We headed off to OrangoTangos where I played up a storm. While there, for the first time in my life, I saw Dad read a newspaper, as he is still iPad-less. It was so funny watching him try to turn the big pages while he ate a burger. I played up a storm after a few chips, and Dad was so impressed with me going down the slide, on my bottom, at high speed, breaking my personal best land speed record. I would go so fast that when I reached the padding at the bottom of the slide, which offered lots of friction, I’d tumble head-over-heels, and giggle!

We bumped into Paul and little Ryan while we were there, and Dad and Paul had a long chat. Afterward Dad took me on a few bumper car rides, and afterward I told Dad I needed to go home. I fell asleep in the car and at home Dad and I had a Team Snooze. As we woke up, Granny arrived for the afternoon. Dad and I worked on my tunnel some more, applying ground and earth to it, and some grass to make it look authentic. Dad was so deep in concentration building my tunnel that Granny and I excused ourselves and played up a storm in my room. While Dad and I were outside doing a high-sky, Mommy got back home from her course.

The early evening became really hectic, as it was discovered I had a temperature of 38?C. Mom swung into action and medicated me. Mom and Dad had an invite to a quiz evening, which they couldn’t break, so Granny was put on high alert. It was an 80s theme so Dad dressed like Sonny Crocket from Miami Vice and Mom had a Madonna look going in. Despite feeling ill, I had a good old giggle at them. I had a quiet evening with Granny – we lay in bed and watched TV. I did get up enough energy to play pirates with her, but then fell asleep.

The rest of the night was a disaster. Mom and Dad were already home fortunately, when I started throwing up. My temperature carried on raging, and the remaining night into the early morning was awful for me, throwing up time and time again.

Sunday we stayed home; and I kept on fighting the temperature, which only broke once during the past 24 hours. Tomorrow morning it’s definitely a visit to the doctor for me.

Until next week.

Love,

Jarrod